It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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