She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
