If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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