That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i wish my penis had a tongue
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
