Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
