The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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