Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
