i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
