She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
