I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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