why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
