so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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