I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
