Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
