it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
