We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
