The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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