oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize