its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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