were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
