I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you had me at cake vodka
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
