Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This is the high leading the old right now
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
