just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
