Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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