i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
