she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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