brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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