Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
