He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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