You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
