I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
