I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
