look no pants
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
sex in a hospital.. check
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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