where am i from again
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
