first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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