Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
