so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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