I wish I could punch you in the face.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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