I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
