Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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