Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
