Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
