My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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