Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
