My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
