so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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