Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
