i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
