Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
