I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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